I don't know if I'm not going to regret to write this

I don't know if I'm not going to regret to write this, I do not know what It's worse
being drunk
or being a pathetic dreamer like me
I always thought I would live and die alone
Destiny or god or something it's laughing their asses of me
I had to reckon this I never been so good on telling somebody how I feel face to face and I'm scared of ending alone my days
Several months ago, for the first time in 3 years somebody made me truly dream
that someone like me could even have a chance
that's ironic
that's a relief
that's hurts a lot even
because I can't hug her
or even take her hand
or telling her face to face about how much means to me that tiny little conversations we got some nights
they set me back on track, keep calmed, learning to have some hope
Being hit so many times by the so called friends
Being hurt so many times by the so called good friends
I've lost my faith in the human beings
But this woman, not this time, she's the one who makes me smile
I can't remember last time somebody made me smile from my heart
Whatever happens
Whatever life throw up at me
Even If I fall again
I'll always remember your smile